Wednesday, November 28, 2012

BILA ANAK SUKA MENJERIT-JERIT

by Prof. Dr. Rozieta Shaary on Tuesday, September 4, 2012 at 10:34pm ·
Saya Menerima soalan ini dan saya ramai ibu bapa yang mempunyai masalah yang sama.Prof, anak saya umur 2 tahun 10 bulan. Sejak ada adik 6 bulan lepas dia suka sangat menjerit. Most of the time. Even with no reason tiba dia menjerit. And he refuse to listen anything we said even though dia faham. If he did something wrong
, bila nasihat he will start yelling dan buat face expression and he is quite rebellious. What shud i do to tell him what he did (screaming, and refuse to obey rules) was wrong? Sometimes when I cant control the situation, saya tunjuk rotan untuk takutkan dia.
TQ, Kyriawanie Kamaruddin, ini satu soalan yang menyebabkan ibu mahu menjawab panjang lebar kerana ibu yakin ramai yang menghadapi masalah yang sama.

This might sound funny but bring him out to the open space and let him shout to his heart content. Tapi bukan utk marah but just to give the space to do so. And tell him that if he want to shout, this is the place to do so. But if he shout at home for no reason then you will have to punish him. What punishment you want to give him, you and husband can discuss on something you both agree. If you come to a decision to beat him, do it without hatred and anger. Do it with love and respect.

If all fail, if you have tried being gentle and get him to understand but fail, you can do this.

I don't agree with beating a child who is less than 7 years old but I do realize there are time that we need do it to convey a certain message BUT we must do it with love and kindness.
How to do this- first explain to him why you do so. Take the time to explain then when you beat BERPADA dgn diri, saiz dan umur anak itu. Get another person to be there so that you will not be carried away. After beating, hold him again and tell him that you do that to teach him the consequent of his choice to still shout after you have reminded him not to do so. Yet, again you must take the time to let him understand that was done out of love BUT do not just said it but your tone, and action twds him as you are carrying out the punishment and after that must be gentle and kindness.

I am not keen with beating as punishment for toddlers. That is why I said, if all fail. Beating as punishment must be done properly or else it can cause scars and those emotional scars can cause many emotional baggage.

If you may consider this example. My grand-daughter who at that time of the incident pun suka menjerit. The mother was fast in curing it. Everytime she shout, the mother came to her gently and whisper to her. Because her mother whsipered to her, she brought her voice down to hear her. Sometimes the mother said that the dolly want to sleep and banyaklah idea dia lagi. The bottom line is, in order to stop her from yelling the mother did not yell but whisper.

Have you and your husband consider that he yells so much because he is expressing his dissatisfaction over something? may be he does not understand the changes in your way of dealing with him for eg why your attention is divided? MAY BE ALL THAT HE NEED IS THAT BOTH OF YOU REASSURE HIM OF YOUR LOVE. Do not just say you still love him. Follow it with actions. Get an alone time with him, one of you at least twice a week where he can get your fullest attention. Get him involves in taking care of his brother. Tell him that, soon , when his brother is older, he can have a friend to play with and that will be more fun.

Children jadi suka menjerit dan marah2 kerana mereka banyak dilarang. Ada tak kemungkinan you banyak melarang dia selepas dia dapat adik ni?

Jika dia dihantar ke nursery ke...kaji juga apa yang berlaku di sana. Ada tak budak yang suka menjerit atau orang menjerit kepadanya.

Sebelum menggunakan rotan, kaji dulu. Rotan hanya sekiranya semua itu dah dibuat.

Cubit, pukul, tengking semua tu boleh mendapatkan hasil anak tu diam dan dengar kata kita dgn cepat, namun, apa yang berlaku di dalm jiwa mereka yang kita tak nampak masa itu ialah benih benci disemai. Jika perhubungan kita tidak rapat selepas itu, anak-anak yang beginilah bila sudah besar, mereka sudah kuat, mereka sanggup tengking, jerit dan pukul ibu bapa dan orang lain. Inilah yang kita lihat byk berlaku sekarang ini dan dah menjadi-jadi.

Dua tahun 10 bulan adalah usia yang tersangat kecil utk dipukul, hanya lakukan sekiranya perlu.kalau mak bapak masa dulu akan memukul anak dan kejar dengan rotan atau parang dan anak jadi manusia juga ... tapi ada ke mereka mengejar anak yang baru 2 tahun 10 bulan?

Saya rasa bersyukur Wanie, hanya menggunakan rotan sekadar menakutkan dia dan tidak memukul. Tahniah, kerana Wanie mempunyai pertimbangan yang baik. Dan ibu yakin, bila Wanie dah boleh tahu punca dia suka menjerit itu atau Wanie boleh memberi dia attention dgn berkerjasama dgn suami, wanie dapat mengurangkan amuknya itu. Ibu doakan utk mu sayng.

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